Now and then, an event hits the news that appears to be a fleeting moment most people won’t remember past dinner. But every so often, due to some cosmic accident, divine intervention or perhaps karma, one of these mere blips on our radar sticks around a while and shows the true nature of certain media “personalities”. Witness the tale of Ellen Degeneres, Fox blowhard Bill O’Reilly and Iggy the puppy.

Degeneres says she adopted a puppy for herself from Mutts and Moms Rescue and found the puppy incompatible with her cats, so she gave it to her hairdresser’s children in direct violation of the terms of her adoption contract. When the agency found out, they took the puppy back and adopted him to another family. As a result, Degeneres had a complete meltdown on camera and tried to use the public pressure of her show to persuade Mutts and Moms to reconsider. Some Ellen fans took her a little too seriously and allegedly issued death threats to the rescue group. How provincial… Of course when Bill O’Reilly found out about Ellen’s dilemma, he just had to tap his tremendous methane reserves and pile on. He issued on-air threats of his own to this agency, claiming that he was going to use his crack investigative team to “Solve this Ellen Degeneres thing right here… Solve it… We’re going to get Iggy a good home.”

This is a guy who is so sanctimonious, his show should have been christened “The No Sin Zone”. If O’Reilly’s show is so utterly fantastic; such a ratings bonanza, why does he spend so much time plugging his merchandise, hosting Dennis Miller or a woman who interprets celebrity body language or wasting time with any of the other ratings gimmicks he resorts to?

A little History:

Ellen previously adopted another shelter dog; a mutt named Lucy. What happened to Lucy? Where did she go? Was she “incompatible” as well? How long did Ellen attempt to acclimate her cats to Lucy? How many other animals has Ellen adopted and then handed off to someone else? These are all legitimate questions, in light of these recent developments. The specific rules Degeneres admittedly broke are designed to prevent people from either fraudulently obtaining a rescue animal or doing precisely what she did; give the animal away to someone else without allowing the adoption agency the opportunity to screen that person.

Parents, I hate to break it to you: Many of your offspring are demon spawn; the consequence of your permissive parenting. I have personally encountered many species of shelter animals that were tortured -yes tortured- by cruel little children in ways too graphic to mention. And those are the survivors. I have seen these animals react negatively, cowering in fear, particularly in the presence of children. Despite what many people think, there are animals that are not suitable for households with children.

Ellen signed a contract. She violated the terms of that contract. She is to blame for the resulting uproar over that violation. She said she wouldn’t talk about it anymore while posing with the little girl she got the puppy for, saying that Ruby didn’t want another puppy, she wants Iggy. Perhaps it’s a perfect teaching moment; time for Ruby to learn the lessons that every child eventually learns; that you can’t always get what you want and that adults - even famous ones- are occasionally to blame for screwing things up. She’s not being denied a puppy. Get over it already.

O’Reilly and Degeneres are both wrong on this issue. They spend their entire lives adhering to the complex terms of 6-figure contracts, but suddenly think this contract has terms that are either stupid or unnecessary, so they advocate somehow ignoring them. Degeneres had an obligation to read it or have an attorney or agent do so. She didn’t have to sign it. A contract is a contract… is a contract… No matter who you are.

Mutts and Moms had every right to impose those restrictions and every right to retake possession of the animal. Every stupid law or rule in society is the result of an injury, death or near miss. How would you feel as a rescuer if harm came to one of your animals from a failure to completely screen someone? It happens all the time. Even with proper screening. This is not a case of a rescue organization punishing a child; it is a case of celebrities who think they can use their influence to somehow bully the average person into submission using a camera. That’s not my brand of conservatism O’Reilly… And stick to comedy Ellen… Your brand of drama is hideous.

Author’s note: There are good reasons many of these contractual obligations are in place for animal adoptions. Despite what detached media celebrities like Bill O’Reilly and Ellen Degeneres think, it’s not necessarily better just to take the animal out of the shelter and put it in a home; even one that wants it. That’s why there are shelters and that’s why so many of these animals end up dead from abuse or back in the shelter after being adopted. Each and every case has its own challenges and each and every one of these animals has its own unique needs. It is not up to celebrity know-nothings to dictate those needs.

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