The Joke’s On Us
The 2008 primary season has barely begun and already there are more ugly examples of campaign shenanigans on both sides than ever before. It matters not that voters have consistently voiced their desire to hear the candidates’ positions on the issues; all we get is the occasional self-aggrandized version of one’s record, followed by copious attacks on their opponent’s records topped off with personal attacks on the opponents themselves by private investigators and muckrakers of every stripe.
Let’s have a look at what a few of the leading candidates are up to so you can make an informed decision about which Americans may not be the best president.
We’ve seen a close associate of John Edwards, attorney Geoffrey Feiger, indicted on numerous felonies for allegedly reimbursing his employees and other associates for their generous contributions to Edwards’ 2004 campaign.
We’ve also repeatedly seen that John Edwards’ hypocrisy knows no limits. Despite being outed trying to use his influence to cut in line when trying to buy his son a Playstation, Edwards also submitted a UNC Tarheels ticket “wish list” as part of a compensation package for his work jump-starting the university’s liberal brain trust, the Center on Poverty, Work and Opportunity. Way to go in the name of the poor, Johnny.
We’ve seen Hillary Clinton recently get caught using a federal fugitive to act as a contributions “bundler”, which is nothing more than a legalized form of influence peddling.
We’ve seen Hillary Clinton get caught planting softball questions while -arguably her husband and arguably her better half Bill- whines about Hillary being “swift-boated” and lies about his opposition to the Iraq war “from the beginning”. And while she was busy trolling a friendly audience for that panel of useful idiots she so desperately needed, she also activated her sleeper, a member of her gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered steering committee, to infiltrate Republican debate audiences and pepper the candidates with questions about the miltary’s stance on openly gay servicemembers.
We’ve seen verbal spats between Hillary and Barack Obama about both experience and written records of such experience. Hillary embellishes her experience while downplaying her records and Obama not only comes up empty handed in both cases, but characterizes the void as an asset.
We’ve had liberal journalists go far easy on liberal candidates, while conservative Bob Novak went way overboard on liberal candidates when he supposedly heard from someone who heard from someone in the Clinton campaign about some heretofore unspecified dirt that they allegedly had on Barack Obama.
We’ve seen that not only is Rudy Giuliani a cad, but he can’t be trusted with your money. Ever the adulterer, he traveled numerous times to the Hamptons to frolic with his mistress in the company of a full security detail. The NYPD billed agencies such as the Office for People with Disabilities and Loft Board for the security costs. Giuliani first claimed the practice was perfectly legal but backtracked and said he would look into the billing practices while also maintaining he wasn’t responsible for who the NYPD billed. When the city auditor discovered the discrepancies, who did he go to for an explanation? Current Mayor Michael Bloomberg. As mayor, Giuliani used or condoned the misuse of city funds to cover up an adulterous affair. Plain and simple.
We’ve seen a Republican field rife with baggage - each trying to be the conservative while their past records offer concrete, historical proof of their liberal tendencies and waffling on important issues. Romney… Giuliani… Huckabee… McCain…
We’ve seen the last dregs of credibility of a certain Evangelical leader evaporate when he threw his support behind an adulterous abortion supporter because he thought Giuliani was the most electable.
And finally, we’ve seen complete cluelessness from both sides. The Democrats can’t seem to grasp the fact that George Bush isn’t running next year and Republicans can’t understand why the subject of illegal immigration elicits such anger in the average American.
Remember the immortal practical joke when someone takes a bag full of dog crap, puts it on someone else’s doorstep, lights it on fire, rings the doorbell and runs away? American presidential politics is no different; each candidate sounds the alarm after setting a fire right on your doorstep. It’s only when you extinguish the flames and take a whiff that you realize what has been placed at your feet. With one or two exceptions, I have never in my life seen such a boorish collection of traitors, liars, crooks, bullies and shysters than those girding for the Presidency in 2008. Like every 4 years in recent memory, once again the joke’s on us, America.
