War of Wits

A Snowballs’ Chance In Hell

November 5th, 2007

“If the law supposes that…, the law is a ass…”- Dickens

When it comes to squandering precious tax dollars in pursuit of the inane, nothing surprises me. The egocentricity of The Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife(DFW) has infested their better judgment, resulting in a phenomenon I call the “caged Machiavelli” - when government officials, politicians or those with sway over the public’s wallet lock themselves into a position that they feel there is no retreat from.

It usually happens over something inconsequential but tends to - shall we say - snowball into something much bigger than anticipated, such as it did in Mollala, Oregon. Rather than concede an inch, these petty little dictators end up dragging good people through the mud, wasting tax dollars and breeding public resentment; embarking on a scorched-earth campaign just to show who’s in charge.

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The Profligate, The Pundit and The Puppy

October 22nd, 2007

Now and then, an event hits the news that appears to be a fleeting moment most people won’t remember past dinner. But every so often, due to some cosmic accident, divine intervention or perhaps karma, one of these mere blips on our radar sticks around a while and shows the true nature of certain media “personalities”. Witness the tale of Ellen Degeneres, Fox blowhard Bill O’Reilly and Iggy the puppy.

Degeneres says she adopted a puppy for herself from Mutts and Moms Rescue and found the puppy incompatible with her cats, so she gave it to her hairdresser’s children in direct violation of the terms of her adoption contract. When the agency found out, they took the puppy back and adopted him to another family. As a result, Degeneres had a complete meltdown on camera and tried to use the public pressure of her show to persuade Mutts and Moms to reconsider. Some Ellen fans took her a little too seriously and allegedly issued death threats to the rescue group. How provincial… (more…)

The Enemy Doesn’t Always Wear a Headscarf

October 15th, 2007

Throughout history the enemies of the United States were easily recognizable;

They wore the red coat and flew the Union Jack; they wore the jackboot and the swastika; they worshipped the rising sun.

In this modern age of global terror, the enemy praises murder. He hides behind burqua-clad women when attacking or evading or he hides in the burqua itself. In his propaganda videos he often wears a headscarf to hide his face. While focusing on our global enemy however, we must be very cautious; for the enemy doesn’t always wear a headscarf. Sometimes he dons a black robe… And bangs a gavel… And makes decisions so contrary to the rule of law that he should not only be removed from the bench, he should be jailed.

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Reality Bites

September 4th, 2007

Hokie - “a word that people used to express feeling, approval, excitement, surprise” - Johann Norstedt - Retired VA Tech English Professor

Once again, a suicidal maniac hell-bent on exacting as much revenge as possible has struck one of the nation’s schools, this time a world-class university. But as information about the shootings, suspect and victims arrived at news desks in drips and drabs, the over-the-top coverage of the incident by the mainstream media wasn’t very helpful. In fact, the sensationalism with which NBC, Fox News, and others covered this nightmare did nothing except feed disinformation and rampant speculation.

On the April 16th morning broadcast of Fox News Live, within hours of the conclusion of the massacre, Fox contributor and former D.C. Homicide Detective Rod Wheeler was asked about the possibility that an M-16 may have been this shooter’s weapon of choice. It is unclear -and may never be known- whether a witness reported an M-16, whether a witness assumed that an M-16 was involved due to the volume of fire, or exactly where Fox obtained this information. If you’ll remember the Beltway sniper incident which turned out to be the work of John Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo, initial speculation in the media was that a military-trained sniper was likely involved. Similarly, the immediate focus of the media speculators once again fell on a member of our armed forces in Blacksburg. Mr. Wheeler wondered aloud on camera what the shooter’s affiliation to the military might have been, as M-16s were not exactly easy to come by.

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Shuttle Diplomacy

August 20th, 2007

The US Space program has been the pride and joy of Americans and the envy of the world for half a century. Manned missions such as Mercury, Skylab, Gemini and Apollo helped set the tone for the space race and the end of the Cold War. They have also contributed greatly to our understanding of mankind’s significance in the evolution of the cosmos.

But manned space flight is a very expensive and very dangerous undertaking with virtually no margin for error. It has already claimed the lives of about two dozen astronauts since NASA’s birth, if you count training accidents. The original Apollo missions were carried out with technology that -while highly reliable and advanced by 1960’s standards- was slower, less powerful and less advanced than many of today’s laptop and handheld devices. (more…)

The Law of Unintended Consequences

August 6th, 2007

History repeats…

The Roman Empire; classic example of an advanced society collapsing under the weight of its own ignorance, debauchery and betrayal. The United States has rumbled down that same path ever since the LSD-dropping, mushroom-taking, orgy-participating days of the 1960’s toasted the brains of much of our current leadership.

What good is representative government if you’re dead?

 Over 30 brands of toothpaste containing diethylene glycol…
Vehicle tires
Pet food…
Meat (uh, cardboard…)
Dozens of products made with wheat gluten…
Hundreds of different toys from multiple toy companies resulting in millions of units recalled…
Fireworks…
Picnic tables…
Weight benches…
Propane heaters…
Christmas lights…
Crayons…
Disposable cigarette lighters…
Laptop computer batteries…
Surge protectors…

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The Last Time I Checked, That Was Old Glory

July 16th, 2007

Thank the Good Lord they can’t bottle stupidity, because there seems to be an abundance of it at all levels of government. With all of the real serious problems this country faces, you’d think that the mayor of a major city would have his hands full, what with terrorists preparing to kill us and all that…

There is a growing movement by many cities to ban bottled water in city departments. The supporters of this movement cite environmental concerns as the primary reason they’re doing it. Diminutive fascist mayor Gavin Newsom of San Francisco hopes that by heeding his example, other cities and perhaps the private sector will pledge in unison not to purchase bottled water, thereby rescuing humanity and saving the planet from this most foul of substances.

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Only In The Mind of a Liberal

July 2nd, 2007

Only in the mind of a liberal did George Bush, the CIA or any American have anything to do with the September 11th attacks.

Only in the mind of a liberal should society sanction and pay for the execution of an unborn baby, but not the execution of those beyond redemption.

Only in the mind of a liberal is Osama bin Laden a holy warrior, while George Bush the anti-Christ

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King County’s Dogged Pursuit of Justice

June 25th, 2007

The right of Americans to choose their representatives through free elections is guaranteed. It has been secured by pen, it has been secured by sword. It has been earned through torrents of blood spilled on the battlefield by American patriots for centuries. But despite the supposed sanctity of that right, it is coming under increasing attack by the current generation of political leadership - whether it be a local elections department or the trifecta of the three branches of the US government.

Every now and then, patriotic Americans who are fed up with incompetent, lazy or heavy-handed public servants speak out or engage in acts of civil disobedience in order to expose flaws in the laws that govern us or the manner in which they are enforced. When these brave citizen soldiers do indeed expose waste, fraud or ineptitude, they ought to be celebrated, not punished. Which calls to mind the case of one such patriot, Jane Balogh from Federal Way, WA.

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Maritime Security: The Soft Underbelly

June 18th, 2007

The most important element of any national security strategy is border security. Borders are one of the primary ways we are distinguished as a nation. A border is solemn. It is not an abstract notion; not something to be held as inconsequential or violated any time a foreigner chooses to do so. On June 10th, 2007, while Congress was ratcheting up the rhetoric to try and convince the American people it was serious about border security, I personally witnessed my borders being repeatedly violated by foreign nationals coming ashore undetected by law enforcement or military personnel. This time, the violators were probably the harmless crew of a foreign cargo vessel. Next time they could be al Qaeda-linked terrorists.

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Conduct Unbecoming

June 3rd, 2007

Yahoo - \`ya-(,)hü -

  1. A member of a race of brutes from Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels who have the form and all the vices of humans.
  2. A boorish, crass or stupid person. © 2007 Merriam Webster Inc.

“You put something like this out, its going to get picked apart by every yahoo and whoever those Minutemen people are on the border who can’t find a tee time.” - Bob Beckel, Democratic Strategist - Fox News 5/21/2007

“It reminds me of the old saying, ‘A camel is a horse produced by a committee’.” - Senator Byron Dorgan on the Senate floor 5/23/2007

Besides being the most dishonest discussion to come along in recent years, the heated debate over the US Senate’s poisonous immigration bill is getting uglier by the day. And rightfully so. House Minority Leader John Boehner called the legislation a “piece of shit”. I heartily agree. But when Americans who are gravely concerned about the fate of their country speak out against this piece of shit stinking up the Senate, jerks from all over the political spectrum start calling us names. Democratic strategist and Fox news regular Bob Beckel called anyone who disagrees with this bill stupid.

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Someone Should Sue YOUR Pants Off!

May 6th, 2007

They say justice is blind. I submit to you that it is blind, deaf, dumb, lame, mute and stupid. It is also quite tyrannical when brought to bear as a weapon against an individual or the fruits of their labor. One of the biggest problems in America is the plague of frivolous litigation that is clogging up the nation’s court systems. From a spilled cup of hot coffee while driving, to a severed finger planted in a bowl of fast food chili, the claims of irreversible harm and emotional distress encouraged by multi-million dollar jury verdicts continue to border on the absurd.

Recent estimates indicate that the average American coughs up an additional $3,500.00 per year for everyday goods and services [1] as a result of frivolous litigation brought by individuals with an axe to grind. As an orderly society, we cannot function without certain individuals to teach us, guide us, heal us or protect us. That is why we hold professions such as priests, judges, teachers and police officers more accountable than others. It is also why the citizens of Washington DC must hold DC Administrative Law Judge Roy L. Pearson accountable.

The Honorable Judge Pearson is the plaintiff in a frivolous $65 million dollar lawsuit against Ji Nam Chung, Soo Chung and Ki Chung, owners of Custom Cleaners in suburban Washington DC. The suit was brought by Pearson over a pair of his pants that apparently went missing when he sent them for cleaning. Pearson began his assault by asking the Chungs for $1,000.00 - the full price of the suit. The Chungs contended a week later that the pants had been found. They refused to pay, at which point Pearson brought forth his lawsuit.

The Chung’s attorney, Chris Manning said that they made three settlement offers to Pearson - first $3,000.00, then $4,600.00, and finally $12,000.00, all of which were rejected.

Pearson contends that two signs in the Chung’s business, “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service” amount to fraud because of his dissatisfaction over his pants. As a consequence of this alleged “fraud”, Pearson calculates that -according to DC consumer protection laws- at $1,500.00 per violation per day, the Chungs had 12 separate violations over 1,200 days times three people for 64.8 million dollars. Additionally, Pearson decided that since he no longer wanted to patronize his neighborhood dry cleaners, it was worth another $15,000.00, which he contends would be the cost to rent a car every weekend for 10 years to take his suits to another dry cleaners. And in a final sign of this jerk’s contempt for our legal system, he appointed himself to represent all DC area customers “affected” by signs promising satisfaction, such as were found in the Chung’s establishment.

Sherman Joyce, President of the American Tort Association stepped forward and offered an olive branch to Pearson by offering to buy him the suit of his choice. It is unknown whether Pearson accepted the offer. Thankfully, people in a position to stop this madness are beginning to speak out. Former NLRB chief administrative law judge Melvin Welles wrote the Washington Post, urging that Pearson be immediately disbarred. Pearson may very well be on his way there. On Wednesday, Judge Pearson’s biography page was active, but as of Saturday May 5th, 2007, his biography has been removed from the Office of Administrative Hearings website.

It appears that in this case, the system may in fact work the way it was intended. But even Pearson’s possible disbarment and dismissal from the bench don’t quite go far enough. Rather than being offered a new suit, Judge Pearson should have his pants sued off for malicious prosecution and then be forced to trade in that black robe for something more suitable such as a bright orange or black-and-white-striped jumpsuit with matching wrist and ankle bracelets.

It has long been held that there are two systems of justice in this country. One for the haves, another for the have-not’s. If your pants have deep pockets; If you can afford a flashy attorney schooled in theatrics and skilled oratory, you stand a much better chance of winning. Likewise, one who earns a living practicing the legal profession has a substantial edge over the average citizen when facing off in court. They ought to face substantial sanctions for the “piling on” of frivolous costs and accusations. If there is ever going to be meaningful tort reform, these types of lawsuits must never see the inside of a courtroom.

1. Source Towers, Perrin, Tillinghast 2006 Update on US Tort Cost Trends

Help Support The Chung’s against this tyrannical judge

Helicopter Parents Should Break Hover

April 29th, 2007

I have often made the case that liberal Baby-Boomer parents are more concerned with instant gratification than long-term consequences. More about “If it feels good, do it” than “patience is a virtue”. Let’s take a look at but one more example of this phenomenon.

When it comes to child-rearing, it appears that many Baby-Boomer parents are doing a huge disservice to society, while also causing irreparable harm to their children by keeping them in a perpetual state of dependency, even well into adulthood. There is a disturbing new trend in this country of parents becoming deeply involved in decisions that should be made solely by their adult children. These parents are referred to as “helicopter parents” because they constantly hover over their grown children, whether they are young adults in college or recent graduates with degrees in hand, setting out for their first big job interview. (more…)

“Hokie” Media Coverage Popularizes Mass Murder

April 22nd, 2007

Hokie - “a word that people used to express feeling, approval, excitement, surprise” - Johann Norstedt - Retired VA Tech English Professor

Once again, a suicidal maniac hell-bent on exacting as much revenge as possible has struck one of the nation’s schools, this time a world-class university. But as information about the shootings, suspect and victims arrived at news desks in drips and drabs, the over-the-top coverage of the incident by the mainstream media wasn’t very helpful. In fact, the sensationalism with which NBC, Fox News and others covered this nightmare did nothing except feed disinformation and rampant speculation.

On the April 16th morning broadcast of Fox News Live, within hours of the conclusion of the massacre, Fox contributor and former D.C. Homicide Detective Rod Wheeler was asked about the possibility that an M-16 may have been this shooter’s weapon of choice. It is unclear -and may never be known- whether a witness reported an M-16, whether a witness assumed that an M-16 was involved due to the volume of fire or exactly where Fox obtained this information.

(more…)

Read My Lips: “It ‘is’ More Than The Media”

April 8th, 2007

It can easily be argued that much like an automobile that begins to depreciate the moment it has been driven off the lot, the debate that is the bread-and-butter of the modern-day, American, two-party political system began to deteriorate the moment the wheels of the very first reelection campaign were set in motion. But boy, how far we’ve come. That’s the message given by two former Presidents. In just their latest in a series of bipartisan lovefests, former Presidents Clinton and Bush lamented the increasing harshness in recent media coverage of politicians, particularly the office of the President.

In a recent speech at the CTIA wireless industry conference, the elder Bush said that the relationship between the press and politicians is even uglier than he remembered, while his successor Mr. Clinton berated the uneven coverage of blogs and cited their tendency to “bad mouth” politicians as evidence that media coverage has taken a turn for the worse. This is America. Over the years Bill Clinton badmouthed numerous women, the military, his Secret-Service detail, The elder Bush’s son and countless others. He should leave well enough alone… Mr. Clinton was right about one thing: The pioneering role that blogs will play in clearing a path through the muck during the 2008 election and beyond. His wife Hillary will no longer be able to float inaccurate campaign sound bites without being challenged.

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